What a completely humiliating day................................................ Im not going to go into it yet because there are good things that I want to share first and really are more important than the small minded people in the world.
Ben has been going to Plano 2x's a week and some days he does better than others, and over all he is doing really good. They are able to get through his IEP every day and sometimes 2x's that day. Bob goes on one day with us and Kelly goes on the other day. It has helped SSSOOOOOOOOO much that we are all participating. Ben doesnt really care for us all ganging together
, but that is to bad.
Here in the last 2 weeks he has started having a problem riding in the truck and going places he doesnt want to go. He was just screaming bloody murder and drilling, or hitting himself or trying to pinch or hit us when we are in the truck. We were VERY worried because we are going to Reno in Oct and he is going with us and that is a 4 DAY TRIP. Of course, the guys at Wayman thought that was really funny, I didnt though (we are all becoming a big extended family), so I asked, "What do we do?". Gail said just ignore him, act completely like he isnt in the vehicle with you, have a conversation with Kelly or Bob or whoever is in the truck with you as if he wasnt there. Well I just kinda looked at her like, how is that ever going to work?, and of course my mouth is hanging open attracting flys. She said, "Im serious, just ignore him like he isnt even in the vehicle". I stand there for a minute thinking, "How in the hell is that going to work?". She said, "I mean it, act as if he isnt even in the vehicle and it is just you and another individual." Then she said, "if it is just you in there, pick up your phone and act like you are talking to someone on it and completely ignore him." Im thinking, well, everything else she has told me has worked so I guess I will try it.
Well, you know Ben, of course he is going to put my new found knowledge to test on the way home. We were on Hwy 67 just getting out of Dallas and he starts in, so I looked at Bob and said, "So, do you want to give this a try?" He said, "Sure why not, cant do anything else." So we just started talking, sometimes a little louder than usual just to hear each other over Ben. Now, he is screaming in the back seat and we are setting in the front seats just talking away. Ben starts acting interesting, of course we cant look back at him or acknowledge that he is there so the first thing we notice is that his pitch and tone doesnt esculate. At about Cedar Hill we get our first quiet spell, so we just keep talking. Than, Ben starts again, but not with the same vengence as before, but, he doesnt let up until we get to nearly Midilothian and he all of a sudden reaches forward and grabs my shirt sleeve and pulls on it. Now, mind you Bob and I just keep talking and dont pay any mind to him (Bob swears I looked at him though). He got quiet for a few minutes then started back again, but not as hard this time. So, we continue to talk and act as if he wasnt there. It was pretty funny though, because after we passed Midilothian Bob reaches over and pulls on my shirt sleeve and says, "look at me Im throwing a fit". It was hillarous, we couldnt get over how it was working. It took until Alvarado before he completely quieted down. But, we were amazed.
Now, he still does it from time to time and we just start having a conversation just as if he isnt in there. It doesnt take to long and he will get quiet. Dont underestimate him folks, he is a VERY intellegent young man and will try you ALL the time.
Another neat thing he is doing, well, kinda neat, because he is using it as an escape also, is that he is coming up to you and telling you he has to go to the bathroom now, he says, "pa eee" and signs it. Thats cool even if he uses it inappropriately, but that is just a phase, he will learn it correctly soon. Okay now for the story today.......
We go to Walmart to look for a swing to replace the one that broke because Ben and bob like to hang out on it by the pool. Ben starts his act before we get there and we just ignore him and continue on as if nothing is wrong (Im mule headed that way). We get inside and he starts screaming (you cant image the embarresment walking around a packed store with EVERYBODY stopping and looking at the woman walking along with a 12 yr old screaming, hanging on to a cart), he are doing our best to look invisible but Ben he has those good ole Langford lungs. rofl So, we decide we have gotten everything essential, becasue I can assure you the perusing we wantd to do isnt going to happen at this rate. I told Bob to go ahead and take Ben to the truck and I will check out. Well, Ben latches ahold of the cart and doesnt want to let go and is still screaming and I am tapping him on the shoulder saying, "Go with Daddy, Go with daddy", so he lets loose of the cart and attacks Bob in the middle of the store, knocking Bobs glasses off and trying to rip his shirt off and Bob is trying to keep Ben from running off and pick up his glasses and Im try to get Ben to settle down and go on with Bob (What a mess!!!!!!!!!! people are looking and they are clueless to what is really going on). Bob grabs the back of his neck and his left arm and starts pushing him out the store because Ben is fixing to REALLY HAVE A NUCLEAR EXPLOSION!!!! :! People are rubber necking them as they head out the store, Bob is still holding him by the back of the neck and holding his left hand and trying to get him around people and prevent Ben from grabbing them (they just dont realize that he will chew them up and spit them out :! ), and they are just standing there not moving, like deer in the middle of the road with the headlights on them. Well, Bob has to hold him like that all the way to the truck and as he walks by a car a lady tells him to "go easy on him", Bob told her to mind her own $%$^$ business, because she had no idea what was going on or why it was going on. So, she spouts back, "well maybe if you didnt act like you are acting he wouldnt act like he is." Bob is trying to get him in the truck now and the lady wont lay off and Bob screamed at her to mind her own business, she had no idea what was going on. So, she calls the police and drives off. Well, guess who was waiting for us down the road. We were pulled over by not just 1 cop car, but 2 cop cars (guess they thought we were deadly and armed or something) <IMSOMAD> . NOW, IM REALLY PISSED.................. I do everything I do and I get treated like a criminal, yes, I know they have no idea what is going on and a lot of that goes on and they have to check, but still, Im pissed.
So, he wants to see my license and insurance and I look back to check on Ben because Im thinking he is fixing to start screaming again because he is drilling. I see another cop at his door so I role down Bens window and let the cop look at him, he didnt ask me to, and really I was hoping with the mood Ben was in that he would reach out there and grab him so he could get just a small taste of our life. I told him to be careful because Ben would grab him, so he kept his distance. I know that was a horrible thing to think but Im not perfect and I have those thoughts too. <(
> Anyway, the cop on my side asked what was going on, and Bob told him, "Our youngest son is Autistic and he is having trouble today and that lady at Walmart didnt have a clue what was going on. They could check him, he didnt have a mark on him." Now, the cop at my window asks his buddy on the other side if his ears were bleeding or anything else looked wrong and his buddy told him no, he looks fine. Ben just looked at him. Me, Im wanting seriously to break somebody's nose by now. HOW DARE SOMEONE ACCUSE US OF HURTING BEN, especially so bad that his ear would bleed. I have no idea what that #$%#$^$&$%^ told them, but I hope God blesses her with understanding in a very educational way, and that is all I have to say about that!!!!! <IMSOMAD>
Sorry, about venting, but I finished crying about it and this is just part of the process and the package that I am blessed with. But, I wanted yall to see the ignorance that I was faced with today. I dont see why she wasnt intellegent enough to see that Ben has issues that arent normal for a child his age. <IMSOMAD> <IMSOMAD> <IMSOMAD> <IMSOMAD> <IMSOMAD> <IMSOMAD>
Life goes on, and I still expect a lot from him and I plan on getting it. We regrouped and decided that the next time that happens we will just drop the items we came for, bundle up and have Joseph lead the way and have people get out of the way or explain that he has autism and this is a therapy session. The next time I go to Walmart I can assure you it will be with a possee of us (Bob, me, Kelly, Joseph and anyone else we can talk into it) and have them surround us while Ben has a nuclear breakdown and get him over it. I dont want to put up with the stupidity from someone who doesnt understand.
Bob called a friend and he said we should just leave him at home and go (not by himself). But, we cant, that isnt a normal life for him. He should be able to go and do what we do and that is my goal.
Thanks for listening, probably shouldnt share this day with yall but I needed to vent.