Event Info Click Here

Online Entries are OPEN
Printable Entry Form
Sat Draw & Live Results
Sun Draw & Live Results
Event Info Click Here

Online Entries Tues Prior
8am-6pm
Event Info Click Here

Online Entries Open
June 1st - 8th
Event Info Click Here

Online Entries are OPEN
Printable EF

Author Topic: You can't read this and stay in a bad mood !  (Read 7135 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

kmh

  • Guest
You can't read this and stay in a bad mood !
« on: January 19, 2005, 03:12:08 PM »
If you can read these and not laugh, you have a serious mental problem!


1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

8.. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9.. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko..

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?

The Location Of The Dirt Bag.



20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

Now, admit it. At least one of these made you smile

 


Offline Bob Gould

  • Tamet's Husband
  • Administrator
  • Super Hero
  • *****
  • Posts: 11,067
  • Gender: Male
    • Texas Rustic Elegance
Re: You can't read this and stay in a bad mood !
« Reply #1 on: January 19, 2005, 03:22:17 PM »
What do you call a cow with no legs?
ground beef


What do you call a man with arms and no legs floating in the water?
Bob

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a lions den?
Claude

What do you call a man with no arems and no legs hanging on the wall?
Art

What do you call call a dog with on legs in the street?
Spot
This came to me while chopping wood the other day. You've heard don't sweat the small stuff. I say save it for later and use it for kindling

Offline jenijill

  • Posse Member
  • Mega Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1,159
  • Gender: Female
  • pray for our soldiers
Re: You can't read this and stay in a bad mood !
« Reply #2 on: January 19, 2005, 03:30:46 PM »
those were good i did chuckle,
here are some more
   

What do you call a dog with no legs?
 It doesnt matter because it wont come to you anyway



What do you call a lady with one leg?

Ilene

What do you call a oriantel lady with one leg?

Irene
it is Gods responsibilty to forgive the terrorist and it is the US Military's responsibilty to arrange the meeting

Offline Bob Gould

  • Tamet's Husband
  • Administrator
  • Super Hero
  • *****
  • Posts: 11,067
  • Gender: Male
    • Texas Rustic Elegance
Re: You can't read this and stay in a bad mood !
« Reply #3 on: January 19, 2005, 03:51:24 PM »
 rofl
This came to me while chopping wood the other day. You've heard don't sweat the small stuff. I say save it for later and use it for kindling

Offline jenijill

  • Posse Member
  • Mega Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1,159
  • Gender: Female
  • pray for our soldiers
Re: You can't read this and stay in a bad mood !
« Reply #4 on: January 19, 2005, 04:06:13 PM »
What do yo call a man with no arms or legs in front of the door?
  Matt
it is Gods responsibilty to forgive the terrorist and it is the US Military's responsibilty to arrange the meeting

Offline Bob Gould

  • Tamet's Husband
  • Administrator
  • Super Hero
  • *****
  • Posts: 11,067
  • Gender: Male
    • Texas Rustic Elegance
Re: You can't read this and stay in a bad mood !
« Reply #5 on: January 19, 2005, 04:47:31 PM »
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs between two slices of bread?
Patty
This came to me while chopping wood the other day. You've heard don't sweat the small stuff. I say save it for later and use it for kindling

Offline Bob Gould

  • Tamet's Husband
  • Administrator
  • Super Hero
  • *****
  • Posts: 11,067
  • Gender: Male
    • Texas Rustic Elegance
Re: You can't read this and stay in a bad mood !
« Reply #6 on: January 19, 2005, 04:48:43 PM »
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs flying over the fence at a baseball field?
Homer
This came to me while chopping wood the other day. You've heard don't sweat the small stuff. I say save it for later and use it for kindling