This describes our dog and cats to a tee
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
6 am - At last! I Go Pee! My favorite thing!
8 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
6:00 pm - They're home! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the Bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although
I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must
eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that
keeps me going, is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I
once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped
its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into
their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good
little hunter' I am. There was some sort of assembly of
their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the
duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the
food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of
'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my
advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate
one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I
must try this again tomorrow but at the top of the stairs. I am
convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The
dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems
to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird
has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have
arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so his is safe.
For now....
