So okay, my trainer Jennifer, who left me and moved to South Dakota, had these wonderful Wrangler jeans. I say had, but perhaps she still has them . . . I don't know really.
But anyway, they were so cute!
They had the classic Wrangler W on the pocket, but they had like these bronze dots outlining the W!
They.
were.
perhaps are still.
cute.
So I set out on a quest to find them for myself.
I am not delusional. My butt will not look in those jeans the way that Jenn's butt looked in those jeans.
Not that I was checking her out like that . . . I wasn't. But obviously, they were pretty cute cause I want them!
I went to Cavendars, Western Warehouse & Sheplers before they closed, Boot Town . . . none of them had them. I went to the Wrangler website trying to find the jeans and see if perhaps I could order them. Could not find them.
Eventually, I gave up on my jeans. They were simply not to be had. But I did still want myself a pair of cute little kicky Wrangler jeans.
So I set about another trip to go and find myself some wranglers!
On my quest for the perfect Wrangler jean I came to the Wrangler 47s.
I like them.
They do not like me.
I like the Ultimate Riding Jeans, the Cash jean is SOOOOO cute!
I tried them on and hastily took them off!
I finally found the Ladies Premium Patch Low Rise Dusty Road Jean!
These are my jeans!!
Or at least I think so, I can't really be sure to tell you the truth.
Cause when I put them on, they looked NOTHING like when Jenn had them on! Nothing at all like when Jenn had them on.
So that leads me to a question . . .
WHY!?
WHY? I say, would the pocket on the back of a size 2 Wranglers be the same size as the pocket on the back of a size 15 Wranglers . . .
And why is a 15 the largest size for the cute jeans?
I put those jeans on and my legs looked like stuffed sausages . . .
I mean I have never felt quite so fat looking . . .
I remembered what Laura said about going with the classic, no stretch and lots of starch . . . but they simply did not fit me. My thighs are just too hugemongous.
I mean the front view was hideous, and not anywhere near the visage that the designers at Wrangler had in mind I'm sure.
But that wasn't the important part was it?
I wanted the jeans for the kicky little pockets didn't I?
So I turned around.
and screamed!!
The pockets were sat on either side of my butt really close to the seams, and they were small.
Really small. So small in fact that when I took them off I compared the size 15 pockets to the size 5 pockets and learned that they were exactly the same size.
When I looked at my butt in these jeans y'all, it was like a great expanse of denim had opened up. My butt appeared to be the size of the grand frickin canyon with two little bronze W's on either side.
I gave the impression of a denim pillow stuffed a little too tightly with fat thighs and knock knees for the bed spread.
I was mortified and heart broken (and I couldn't breathe), still am to be honest.
I'm angry with myself that my butt, thighs and knees have reached such ginourmous proportions . . . but also, i am perplexed that Wrangler would do such a cruel thing as to put size 5 pockets on a size 15 butt.
