I am sorry for the difficulties you are having in your life. I will pray that things get better for you. Here is the poem that turninthree mentioned.....
WAIT
by Kathy (Nievar) Jelsma
Desperately, helplessly, longingly I cried
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, He replied
I pleaded and I wept for a clue to my fate
And the Master so gently said, "Child you must wait."
"Wait? You say, wait!" my indignant reply.
Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is Your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith, I have asked, and I'm claiming your word.
My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a "yes", a go-ahead sign,
Or even a "no" to which I can resign.
And Lord, you have promised that if we believe
We need but ask and we shall receive
And Lord I've been asking and this is my cry
I'm weary of asking - I need a reply!
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again -- "You must wait."
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taunt
and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"
He seemed, then, to kneel, and His eyes met with mine,
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to crumble .
All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want; but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint;
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust -- just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of residing in me
When darkness and silence were all you could see.
You would never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of my spirit descends like a dove;
You would know that I give and I save for a start
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of my Heart.
The glow of my comfort late in the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
Of an infinite God that makes what you have last
And you never would know should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that "My grace is sufficient for thee"
Yes, your dreams for that loved one overnight could come true
But the loss, if you lost what I'm doing in you
So be silent my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know me.
And though 'oft may my answers seem terribly late,
That the most precious answer of all is -- still ---- Wait!
