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Author Topic: 40 things you will never hear a redneck say  (Read 3924 times)

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Offline Bob Gould

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40 things you will never hear a redneck say
« on: July 30, 2005, 10:52:09 PM »
40. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.

39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

38. Duct tape won't fix that.

37. Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.

36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.

35. We don't keep firearms in this house.

34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?

33. You can't feed that to the dog.

32. I thought Graceland was tacky.

31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

30. Wrasslin's fake.

29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

28. We're vegetarians.

27. Do you think my gut is too big?

26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.

25. Honey, we don't need another dog.

24. Who gives a d@#% who won the Civil War?

23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.

20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

19. Trim the fat off that steak.

18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

17. The tires on that truck are too big.

16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.

15. I've got it all on the C: drive.

14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?

12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.

9. Nope, no more for me. I'm driving tonight

8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?

6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

5. I don't have a favorite college team.

4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.

3. You All.

2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer.

 

And, Number ONE is:







 

1. . Checkmate !
This came to me while chopping wood the other day. You've heard don't sweat the small stuff. I say save it for later and use it for kindling

Offline Rita Barnett

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Re: 40 things you will never hear a redneck say
« Reply #1 on: August 05, 2005, 08:19:09 AM »
 ain't dat jest cute!!   My husband is from alabama and he thinks I'm more redneck than he is!!  I thank its close

Offline RazHorse7

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Re: 40 things you will never hear a redneck say
« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2005, 03:17:49 PM »
hehehe...

i am such a redneck, yup all my friends say so.

yup, and i wouldn't say any of those things, specially not you all!

to think that someone would say you all steada y'all?!
Renee A. Zbynski, 16, IL
Run like you mean it