Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for
the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, a grand
motherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since
you were
a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie,
you cheat
on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.
You think
you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will
amount to anything
more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the
room
and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?"
She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster too.
He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal
relationship
with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state.
Not to mention
he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your
wife. Yes, I
know him."
The defence attorney almost died. The judge asked both counsellors to
approach the
bench and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you jerks asks her
if she knows me,
I'll jail you for contempt. rofl rofl rofl
